Aspie Adventures Part 1: To take it with a grain of salt or treat it as something else?

I did say that I was thinking of making Shoot From The Hip more than just a wrestling-themed blog, and I am making good on that promise with this being the 2nd straight blog I have done with something totally out of the blue. I am an Aspie. My mind usually focuses on things that do tend to get to me at times, my tastes are random as is my interests (hence the original intent of the blog). Even moreso, I do have social cues that tend to not be there at times. I can have feelings, emotions, and even can tell when someone is not themselves. But when it comes to myself and picking up on reaction with me, towards me…it is something that to this day I struggle with and do not know if others are true or hiding behind that proverbial “mask” as one might call it.

The reason I bring this up in today’s blog? Something happened today that just made me scratch my head, and left me befuddled. For the first time in 4 and a 1/2 years…I ran into my grandfather before I started my shift at work. And the old man spoke to me. I bring this up because obviously, there is history to WHY there is a lack of verbiage with him. So, allow me to dig deep into the archives and explain the situation at hand.

My grandfather is very stubborn, very nasty. He is not what one would call a nice person, and has excessive baggage. Too much to explain on here. But about 10 years ago, he remarried after being with them for 17 years-plus, and basically pushed his own flesh and blood family out of the picture. No matter how much this was brought to his attention, there was NO realization by him for the wrong and for the hurt it caused. And when it came to holidays, we were left out of the picture. Once I graduated from college and Father’s Day 2010 rolled around, you guessed it…where was his own flesh and blood in the picture? Didn’t show up to see me graduate, didn’t spend time with the daughter he gave birth to on Father’s Day…nothing. Mom was pissed, and rightfully so…as am I because of my strong family stance. A war of words broke out that night and I stood up for what I believed in, and was made to feel wrong for doing so. He would get pissed when I took his change in the drive thru, even go as far as THROWING his change at me instead of handing it! And let’s no go there with just getting his coffee and staring me down like a hawk, evil eye and everything.

But flash forward to this morning, he just ran right into me, dead-on. Said hi to me, and even (brace yourselves)…had a civil conversation with me! Was I receptive? To an extent, yes. I didn’t blow him off, I didn’t tell him to shove it up his ass, I spoke to him for a few minutes. But the big question is…how do I feel? I really don’t know on the subject. Running into him, fine. Speaking to him? Sure, it’s ok. But after all the bullshit he has caused my family, specifically his daughter…my mother…do I take it as a grain of salt? I truly had trouble telling if he was really trying to be kind and put it behind him, or if he was putting on a dog and pony show just because he ran into me. It is moments like these where I don’t know how genuine one is, and the emotions are hard to pick up on from one person. I don’t know, I truly just don’t…know.

Out of the normal blog for me

So this blog for the month is going to be something out of the normal. As many of you know, having followed my blog on blogspot.com or other pages, my blog is usually wrestling-themed. For 2 years, mostly on again/off again, I have shared my thoughts on the industry or its past, or just randomness on it in general. Today though, I figured with not much really going on in the industry (lack of buildups for PPVs withstanding on both ends of the promotion spectrums)…this is going to be a blog on the man behind the laptop, and what I am up to myself.

Now many do know me, or know about me. Outside of this blog, I am a manager of sorts. Say what you want about McDonald’s, but it is a pretty good place to be. Sure, you have the occasional customer who tries to pull a stunt or 2, or tries to make your day rough, but just handling a customer is all worth while. Trying to turn their day around, make their day if their order was wrong or if they want a little extra, the enjoyment is wonderful. Learning how to run a shift, especially when you are new to the system, it does have its ups and downs about it, and obviously a person like me, my mind tends to wander a lot when I am trying to focus, but the challenge is just awesome & I really like it.

I also do work in the “fabulous” world of radio production. My weekends I spend running audio and editing commercials for an independently-owned small-town radio station. It’s decent, but it could be better. There is lack of communication in the company for the past 5 months. My boss I worked under here got fired less than 3 weeks before he was set to retire, and of course nobody bothers to address it to the board operators. The new guy who took over doesn’t really bother to check in with us to see how the day is or how production is going, and when there is an error in the programs we have to download or faulty wiring causes our audio board to fail and you need to get a hold of someone…take a wild guess as to what happens (or lack thereof?)

Outside of work, I have my family. Things are a little rough at home from time to time. My parents don’t communicate much with one another, which causes tensions to flare a lot. The only reason I am living with them still is because my sister is physically and mentally disabled (I admit, I am a good brother and will always look out for her). Without me, my family really cannot do much. If they have to work late, I’m there to get her from her program, or to take care of her at home when they can’t or they have to take care of the errands.

Work is ok, home is sometimes alright. But there is one thing that does make me happy, more like one person. I have been seeing a really amazing girl for the last few months now, someone who is wonderful inside and out. We can talk about anything to each other, we can spend time doing whatever during the week and we make the most out of it to have fun. If I am feeling down, she will let me ramble on and listen to me, and that in return makes me feel good because in 28 years nobody has ever done that for me. And to top it all off, she does something else nobody has ever done in that time…accept me for who I am and my sister. I stick up for her and she does the same in return.

The thing I like most about Miss “R” is that she is a writer, and she is truly creative. Albeit she writes more frequently than I do (as my ADHD does cause me to lose…oooh, a squirrel is outside!),  she makes me think harder than I ever have, and makes me push myself to my limit to better myself not only in my life but in my creativity. She truly does bring out my smiles and the best in me, I couldn’t ask for anyone better 🙂

But that is it for my blog this month, I will catch you on the flip side. And who knows…maybe I will keep the randomness flowing in the blog from now on 😉